Everyone loves his/ her parents, right? So who wouldn’t want to stay as long as possible? All choices will be made for you; like who will clean the house or what you will eat for dinner. This is so much better than college where trays and trays of food overwhelm you. Plus mom is always there to treat you like a king, providing for your every need and whim.
Apart from that, you have your own room. You can leave your clothes everywhere and rearrange furniture anyway you want without having to consult anyone like a roommate. Besides, when you go to college, you need new closet hangers, a new bed, new sheets and all the same items you have at home, but you have to pay for it. Why waste money you don’t have when it’s already the set up and ready for you in your room at home?
Who wants to pay for a house full of loud college students, who will talk and party all night long when you try to catch up on your much needed sleep? Banging on walls, loud music, raspy voices and dirty hallways will annoy you every night. Therefore, stay home where you, now an “official adult” can make your own decisions and order everyone else to “stay quiet” and control your own decisions. That even includes ordering your necessary 15 hours of sleep every night.
Smells are the worst to suffer through. When you live in a house just packed full of germs, dirty feet and people who haven’t bathed even after their girlfriend puked on them after the party last night. Cigarette smoke seeps in through the door and the windows, and the alcohol slides under the door staining your carpet. Just stay home and you get the smell of fresh home cooking and air fresheners every night and morning when you wake up and as you dose off. You don’t have to suffer through waiting in long lines for food, no need to worry about getting a seat in the cafeteria because you always have a seat at home. Your parents would never betray you and laugh at you when you trip and drop all of your food, life at home is just better, why leave when you have all this before you?
When life gets tough and all you need is a good old Ben and Jerry’s pint, followed up by a old romantic movie that makes you cry every time, college is extremely inconvenient since you have to go out and drive around until you find a store, then you have to find the products you need, then drive all the way back home, a painfully tiring thought. When you are at home, the TV is always on. Your parents own the movies that are so old they date back to prehistoric time. All you truly have to do is coax your mother into buying the ice cream with the notion that she truly wanted it first, you just reminded her.
Who wants to walk around when you have a car at your disposal? No need to pay for gas since dad always slips a hundred dollar bill on the dashboard “for safeties sake” of course. The car is always ready to go and all you have to do is move yourself from your butt spot on the couch to the car seat. At college what guarantee do you have that you will even have a car available? You have to borrow cars and you have to share cars between people, which is extremely inconvenient. With the price of gas going up and the lack of time to go out, the car ends up sitting in the student parking for weeks at a time. They think, “Why even bother going out if it is so much hassle?”
Everyone knows that homework is the worst! In high school a student cannot wait until they are in college, “free” at last, when really college is just high school times 10. You don’t have daily homework, but rather 50 page papers that that are weighted much more harshly than in high school. At home you will never have to touch a pen or paper for anything but to write checks and sign for the occasional package. You will live a life of ease and no hand cramps.
Cleaning, cleaning, and cleaning. No one likes it, so why do it? You have a mother who so graciously offers to do the laundry, make your bed, vacuum and dust. After all that is all mother’s have to do in life. Just wait all you need to do is play your cards right and she will even make you a sandwich in between jobs. In college you have to clean up your own room and the common room. Not only do you have to clean up after yourself, but you also have to clean up after your hygiene deprived roommates.
Stay at home and you will see, just how easy and fun life can be. No worries or troubles or daily cares, which is more than can be said about how a college student fares. At home you have peace and tranquility; at college you have noise and terrible racket. Good home-cooked meals verses cafeteria foods, we all know which one is the better choice.
So just stay at home and avoid all of the inconvenient troubles of college life and you’ll be as happy as a 20 year old can possibly be. Nothing is better in life than sleeping in. Staying at home is a win-win-win! For all of you seniors this year, take a minute to consider my proposition. You know what you life. If you want to continue on the path of papers and finger cramps, then please, go ahead and accept that invitation into Harvard. For the rest of the normal people out there you can clearly see that the life at home is the best way to go. Viva life in “Never- Never Land.”
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